Nice putt Alice…A Golf Story

Say you’re playing in a foursome with three of your buddies, when one of them lines up a putt, takes his stroke … and doesn’t even get the ball  to the hole. What do you say?

Well, one possibility is, "hit it, Alice !" Another is, "nice putt, Alice !" The derogatory " Alice " statement has been part of golf for decades. But who is Alice ? And what did she do to get immortalized in a golf insult that frequently follows a putt left short?

Contrary to one frequently offered explanation, this " Alice " has nothing to do with the Jackie Gleason sitcom The Honeymooners. Gleason was a golf fanatic, and his character on the show, Ralph Kramden, played golf, too. >> Ralph’s wife was named Alice . It’s a good guess, but the phrase does not refer to Alice Kramden.

It turns out that " Alice " isn’t a she at all. " Alice " is a he, and it’s not " Alice ," it’s "Alliss." As in Peter Alliss.
Peter Alliss is the famous English golf broadcaster, the voice of golf on the BBC for decades. But before he became internationally famous as a broadcaster, Alliss was famous in Britain and Europe as a touring pro. And a pretty good one, too: Alliss won 21 times on the precursor to the European Tour and played on eight Ryder Cup teams.

At the 1963 Ryder Cup in Atlanta , Alliss played Arnold Palmer and Tony Lema in back-to-back singles matches and won 1.5 points, halving with Lema and beating Palmer. At some point during his match against Palmer, Alliss – for whom putting was not a strength – badly missed a 3-foot putt. Someone in the gallery yelled out, "Nice putt, Alliss!" Alliss described that moment in a brief article in a 1997 issue of Sports Illustrated, and explained how the phrase became part of the golf lexicon:

The BBC, for whom I now do golf commentary, played a large part in burning the phrase into the public consciousness. I was never renowned for my putting and therefore was an easy – and frequent – target for the many comedy programs on the "Beeb," where great humor was found in such knee-slappers as "That girl Alliss sure hits it a long way."
So BBC programs of the early to mid-1960s liked to get punny with Alliss’ name and its homonym, the female monicker Alice . Ah, that good ol’ golf humor: questioning a man’s, well, manliness for leaving a putt short by calling him a woman’s name. They did it in the 1960s and they – ahem, we – still do it today.

Except that today, most golfers – most of those outside of Britain , anyway – have no idea that " Alice " is actually Peter Alliss. But now you do.

NOTE: Reprinted without permission and will be taken down if asked. Mainly because I love golf, and have no idea of the original author.

A Walk with God

If you know me, you probably know I like golf.  To be truthful I love golf. 

Recently I was asked an off-hand comment about the greatest moment of my life and two things quickly flashed into my mind.  Please do not judge me for this, I am just being honest.

The first one was the birth of our daughter.  It was truly an amazing event, and I ended up crying more than she did.  I could not stop the tears of joy. It was the best day of my life.

Another most amazing event is what this post is about. 

It was about 2 and a half hours in length and was a truly unforgettable experience. It was shared with my cousin (and one of my all time best friends) Mark, my neighbour and really great friend, Glenn and his brother, Jeffrey.

The scene is Ashburn Golf course at Kinsac Lake.  The ‘new course’. Jeffrey is a member and invited us all out for a fun afternoon.  Little did I know it would change my life.

We did the usual warm up of putting, chipping and hitting a few balls on the driving range (the old range – you must see the new one…wow!)

I started number one with a 3 iron hybrid because number 1 is a short par 4 and the driver gets me into more trouble than needed.  I hit it left of the trap protecting the right side of the fairway.  I had about 110 yds left and hit my gap wedge to the middle of the green.  The pin was middle right and so I had a bit of breaker and 20 feet left. I rolled this one in for a birdie.  Great start.

Hole 2 par 5. You hit driver because there is no real trouble.  The trap on the left is there but I pounded one just to the right of the trap and left myself about 200 yards to the green.  I hit a five iron to the front of the green. On in 2, fun.  The pin was in the middle of the big green and I probably have about 40 feet. A two putt here would put me two under.  What did I do?  I rolled the 40 footer in.  Eagle.  3 under for two.  Wahoo!!!

Hole 3 is a 375 yard par 4 with a forced dog leg right because of the trees and bunker on the side hill right.  I hit driver here and just rolled through the fairway on the left.  Pitching wedge to the front of the green and a two putt for par.

Hole 4 is a 387 downhill.  I hit driver and managed to stay straight and catch the short stuff.  Another wedge to the big green and a two putt for par.

Hole 5 is a great par 3. 170 yards downhill with a bunch of traps protecting a slowly sloping green.  Receives well, but still hard to putt on because you never have a flat straight putt.  I hit 7 and missed the green short right, but close to the green. The pin was middle front so I was only about 25 feet away. A little bump and run (my fav shot) and a tap-in is on my mind.  I used a hooded 52° wedge and it went in!!!  Holy shit 4 under.

Hole 6 is a great par 4 only 329 yards up hill and dogging left a bit.  I hit one up the middle the fairway on the high side and it rolled though. I ended up in the rough but it was pretty short so I had a great lie, and no trouble.  I wedged a shot down to the green and it rolled off onto the fringe.  A two putt from there (legal one putt because of the fringe work) and I saved par.

Hole 7 is a beautiful par 4.  Long and downhill with a slight tilt right to left.  A few traps in the landing zone to make it a bit more challenging as well as picturesque. I hit driver past the traps and down the middle.  Got a nice roll and left me a 9 iron to the green.  Popped one on to the middle of the green and ran away with another par.

Hole 8 is a long downhill par 3 with a huge green.  The pin was right front so the shot was a bit shorter than the posted 214 yards.  I hit a 5 iron directly at the pin but it landed short of the green.  Got a decent roll because of the downhill slope and low trajectory and managed to get it on a couple of feet. It was about 12 feet below the hole. It had a little movement left to right but only a cup, if that much.  I rolled it in.  5 under par for 8 holes.  I am beaming, the group with me is in awe, and so am I.

The 9th hole par 5 541 yards was all that was left for a 9 holes I would never forget.  I hit driver left into the rough, my usual shot.  Took a while to find it as I thought I hit it farther than I did.  Popped a 7 iron up to the 150 yard marker and hit an 8 iron to the back of the green.  The pin was hard middle left and I was on the back of the green.  A two putt from here was good.  From my angle it slid hard right.

I rolled the putt and missed my line low and it caught the hill too much and rolled about 12 feet too far to the left.  I now had a left to right uphill slider for my par.  I took my time.  Walked around and looked at it from all sides.  I lined up the putt and rolled it in.  31 for 9 holes.  5 under. What a feeling. 🙂

I was in the zone for over 2 hours from when I hit the first shot until I rolled that putt in. 

The zone left me, or I lef tthe zone. I managed to par 10 and then my mental game fell apart.  I will not recount the agony of my adventure playing out of the zone.  I shot 41 on the back which is respectable for 9.  

72 with a 31 start was a kick-in-the-pants and a reminder that God comes to visit, but sometimes has other more important things to do.

Thanks for the walk.  Let’s do it again sometime.  Really. No, really.